When I first got married, nearly 20 years ago, I thought it was big things that I had to do to show my husband that I love him. Time has taught me that it is in the daily, simple, and not so big things that actually make him feel loved. Here are 10 ways that I show him daily that I love him and I am thinking about him:
- I do not have to leave the house in the mornings, but I get up when he does in order to make him something for breakfast, fix our coffee, and spend a few minutes with him before he leaves.
- We have a long standing joke between us that he cannot fix his coffee correctly. This came about because I always prepare his coffee and he always says that I know exactly how he likes it. It might just be a cup of coffee, but for me it is like a gift to him each time I pour and prepare him a cup.
- I pray for him and let him know that I do. Sometimes it is when I have him on my mind, mention him to the Lord, and then text him to let him know. Other times it is when he has shared a concern with me and I tell him later that I prayed about it.
- Ever since I started staying at home (16 years ago this week) I have made a point of straightening the house and making things look nice before he comes home from work. When our children were little I would tell them we needed to get ready for their daddy to come home. Now, when they see me straightening, spraying air freshener, and putting things away, they will ask if he is on his way. I never want him to come home to a mess or a messy situation. I do not tell him all the bad things of my day when he walks through the door. No matter what kind of day the children and I have had, as far as he knows it was wonderful. If there is something that he needs to know that is not so good, I save it for later....not when he walks in the door.
- I try to pay attention to the little things that he runs out of or is running low on and replace them before he has to ask me to. Just recently, I noticed that he was using his last disposable razor. I came across his favorite kind in the marked down section of the grocery store. I put them on the counter in the bathroom. When he noticed them he said "You always are one step ahead."
- If there are things that he needs to take with him to work, I put them where he keeps his keys so that he does not forget them. He has a 45 minute drive from his work, so if he forgets something, it is too far to come back.
- I randomly throughout the day, send him texts to say that I love him, I am grateful for him, I appreciate him, or I am thinking about him.
- I listen. This has been a 20 year lesson. I truly listen to what he is telling me, even if I do not have a clue what any of it means. He talks cars, machines, motors, etc. It is a language I do not understand, but when he is talking, I act as if it is the most interesting thing that I have ever heard.
- When he gets paid on Fridays, I make certain to let him know that I appreciate him working hard to provide for our family. I never want him to feel as if I do not appreciate him working hard. He has never once complained or even grumbled about being the breadwinner of our home.
- Finally, I hug him, rub his back, hold his hand, kiss his cheek, etc. Our teenagers make fun of this, but I know that it means as much to them as it does to us. My husband is affectionate and appreciates me being affectionate. When I give him a hug out of the blue, I see his face light up.
My husband did not have the ideal childhood. He never had that feeling of belonging or being treasured. I count it a privilege to be married to such a gentle and loving man, but I never want to take it for granted. I want him to know that he is loved, appreciated, treasured, and honored. I may not do "big" things or extravagant things to get this point across, but I try to show it in all the little things of our busy days.
A family friend that is in her 30's became a widow this week. It was a sudden and surprising death and she is now without her husband. I cannot even start to imagine what that must be like. I know, we are not promised a second chance to say the right thing, do the right thing, or act the right way. I try really hard to make things right as quickly as possible so that the day that Lord decides to call either of us home, there will be no regrets.
"...the greatest of these is LOVE"
I Corinthians 13:13