Repotting and Renewing

Last fall I started attending a women's Bible study that has really made an impression on my heart and life.  It led to me meeting several ladies that have become precious to me.  Those relationships led to me attending the Anne Graham Lotz Revival.  That weekend literally changed my life.  It is so hard for me to put it into words but the one word that comes to mind as I think back is SURRENDER.  That word was mentioned and taught to the point that I finally heard to Lord speak loud and clear to my heart.  My husband had asked something of me for quite a while that I was extremely resistant about.  He had has asked that we find a new church home.  I had, like a two year old, planted my feet and decided that I was NOT moving.  The Lord really dealt with me that weekend and when I came home, I was surrendered and ready to let my husband lead.  That very Sunday, my husband was sleeping because he had worked 3rd shift so I went to the church where I had been attending the Bible study.  I knew as soon as I got there that this is where we were suppose to be.  I also knew that my husband would be resistant to going there because it was bigger.  I told him how much I loved it and he, reluctantly, went the following Sunday.  We both knew by the end of the service that we were where we needed to be. 

I am still attending the Bible study group and all of this time, my husband has said that he would love to have something like that in his life.  My prayer has been that he would make new friendships with Godly men.  This past week, I saw on the church calendar that a Men's Bible Study is starting that is exactly what we have talked about.  I am so thrilled that Glenn will start this Bible study this coming week.  I feel that it is what he needs and that God is going to really start some growth in his spiritual life that he has not seen in a while.

I thought about all of this recently when I repotted a house plant.  The plant was in old dirt, had stopped growing, and was looking sick.  I asked my mama to come over and help me repot it, hoping that new dirt and with more room to grow that it would survive.  When my mama got here, she was shocked to see how pitiful it looked.  She basically said that we could repot it but she did not think it would survive.  Less than a week later, I called her to announce that not only had it survived but it had grown bigger, looked stronger, and was much greener.  She said she had honestly thought it was going to die. 

I feel like my husband and I are like that plant.  We had been in the same spot, not growing spiritually, and were "sick".  Looking back, had I kept my feet planted and continued to be resistant to being "repotted", we would have withered to the point of death.  We have been moved and we see and sense the growth that the Lord is bringing to our lives.  I can see that we are stronger and thriving in the new place.  My prayer is that this Men's Bible Study is used by the Lord to fertilize my husband's spiritual life in a mighty way.

 "I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me,

and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing"

John 15:5

Wait in Expectation

"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."

Psalm 5:3

It is so difficult to not get my hopes up when it comes to my husband getting a new job.  He just interviewed on Monday so I am trying to maintain perspective and thinking that no news is good news. 

I read this verse this morning and was encouraged to "wait in expectation" instead of just hoping.  In the past, we have gone through a job loss and it was so easy to get discouraged.  He had interview after interview only to be told they hired someone else or that he was not qualified.  Rejection really hit him hard.  As his wife, I took it personal.  I listened to a sermon yesterday by our wonderful pastor.  He was talking about how we all beat ourselves up when we feel rejected or even fall to temptation.  The truth is, our true judge and our real worth does not come from the opinions of others or our thoughts about ourselves.  The Lord knows us and is the only one in a position to judge us.  He loves us no matter what.  He values us even when the world devalues us.  He does what is best for us even if that includes rejection by man.  As I tell the Lord the desires of my heart, I need to trust that His will is PERFECT and that no matter what the outcome, it is best for us.

My prayer today is that Glenn will be blessed in due season with a better job.  We are not looking for more income as much as we are looking for a better schedule.  We want to be as involved in church as we can, and his schedule does not allow him that privilege.  He swings shifts on a 7 day rotation.  All we really desire is a better schedule, with better management, and a better working environment.  The Lord knows this, because it has been my prayer and heart desire for 4 years.  He knows what is best so all I can do is just wait in expectation.

Hopeful

Today, my husband had an interview for a new job.  We are trying hard to not get our hopes up.  He is certainly excited about the prospect that he could work a regular first shift schedule all the time, not have to drive much farther than he already drives, and off every Sunday to attend church. 

When he left the automotive field, he had to take a job in maintenance for the experience. He was out of work for quite a while prior to taking that job. We honestly thought a year or 18 months where he went would be enough and he could move on. As of next week, it will have been 4 years of swinging shifts. In the last year it has really started to have an impact on him emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. For a long time I would find jobs advertised and he would send his resume only to either never hear from them or to be turned away. That has caused him to feel so much rejection. Those of you who know him well are aware that he is VERY smart. He has a hard time believing that.

I have spent the last few months praying specifically for him to either find peace where he is or for God to move him. I have been very honest and even selfish in praying that he get moved to first shift of find another job that would be regular hours. Recently, he was passed over for a first shift job but was given a raise. I knew that even with the raise, he was still hurt by not being offered the job in a place he has faithfully worked for 4 years.

I stopped telling him about jobs I would find. I would just send his resume off. That way, if he never heard anything, he would not even know. It cut down on his feelings of rejection. A few weeks ago I came across a job opening that was everything we have prayed for: close to home, first shift, mon-fri, etc. The description is basically the same as his current job. I sent the resume off and literally forgot about it. We were at lunch Friday and he had a phone call from the company asking if he could interview.

I use to pray "God please give him this job." My prayer for him this time is "God, if this is where he is suppose to be, make it obvious and work it out. If it this is not where you want him, please help him to not take it as a rejection."

I am praying and I know he is praying.  We are not anxious but we are certainly hopefully.  We are fully trusting that God has a plan and a path for us.

Ready for Fall

I am so ready to put out the gourds, pumpkins, and mums.  In fact, I may go get some of the things that I want to put outside tomorrow and start on the inside fall decorations.  This is what I consider "The most wonderful time of the year".  I was born in October so it stands to reason that I would love it.  :)

Taking walks with a crispness in the air and seeing the leaves change colors are things that give me a sense or renewal.  I am not certain why.  I get an overwhelming sense to organize and clean this time of year.  I have spent the week cleaning...deep cleaning.  I have found things I forgot about, thrown away things that I no longer need, and gathered things to give away that I no longer have a use for.  It made me think about my habits.  Do I need to have this same overwhelming sense to clean when it comes to mindless habits?  I feel a need to list 5 habits that I no longer need and set out to work on cleaning them out of my life between now and the first of the year.  Here are five habits that I plan to break:

1. 
   
   I need to break the habit of answering my children before they are finished asking the question
2. 
   
   I need to break the habit of staying up too late in the evenings
3. 
   
   I need to break the habit of complaining more than I compliment
4. 
   
   I need to break the habit of texting while I am suppose to be having a conversation with somebody
5. 
   
   I need to break the habit of not always putting others first

I want to have good habits in my life and not habits that hinder others or me.  Fall may be a little more than a week away, but I am starting today.

70 Years

Today I have the pleasure of attending a celebration for a couple that have been married for 70 years.  They are two of the sweetest people I have ever known.  She is soft spoken, humble, and gracious.  I use to be her Sunday school teacher and she made the task so much easier just because of the countenance on her face as I would teach.  She has often talked with me about her love for her dear husband.  It has never failed to encourage me or inspire me.  I have seen her stand over him in ICU when she could hardly stand.  She held his hand and told him how much she loved him.  I have seen him walk her to Sunday school like a school boy who was courting a young lady.  Their marriage is something to celebrate.  They are one of the rare couples in this world that have weathered so much together yet after 70 years they are still in love, still each other's partner, and still friends.  What an encouragement to all that know them!!!

As I think about this I ask myself many questions:  Am I more in love with my husband today than ever?  Does he know by my actions that I love him?  Is he my friend and partner in this crazy world?  Do we work to make our marriage more and more what God wants it to be?If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

~~~I Corinthians 13~~~

Coffee

I am on my way to make my husband and I a pot of decaf coffee.  I love coffee and it is my ultimate "comfort food".  There is something about the aroma, taste, and warm cup that make it comforting. I grew up drinking coffee and it was always available at our home.  My sister and I joke that we loved coffee before loving coffee was cool.

Meeting, Aunt Margaret, and Make-up

I know that it is a very strange title for a blog post, but stick with me and you will get it.  There are three things that I do not do every day but I find myself doing all in the same day.

(1)  I am a volunteer coordinator for a triathlon and the committee is meeting for lunch today as a follow-up to the triathlon.  I am sure I am the only person that will not be coming straight from the business world.  I will be coming from my kitchen where I have started some bread in my bread machine.  I will be straight from my laundry room where I have a washer working for me.  I will be in my workout clothes because I will go for a walk when I get home.  I will not be leaving a corporate office but I am leaving from a very important job.  Will I leave the meeting and go back to a "high-powered" job?  No.  I will come home to a "high-calling" of motherhood and homemaking.  How will I do my job today?

(2)  My daddy's aunt has a doctor's appointment today.  She is a widow who buried her only child years ago.  When I asked her if she would like for me to go with her to the appointment, she cried.  She was thrilled that I was willing.  I do not spend enough time with her and I should be ashamed.  She is a smart woman that is so much fun to be around.  Am I spending the afternoon having coffee with a friend that is my same age?  No.  I am spending the afternoon with a woman who is over twice my age.  I will glean wisdom from her, she will not gossip, and she will encourage me.  This is something that is not always true of my other friends.  What will I learn from Aunt Margaret today?

(3)  My children have always known that if I am putting make-up on and it is not Sunday, there must be something important going on.  I have decided to wear make-up today since I am going to an important meeting and to the doctor with Aunt Margaret.  Do I wear make-up every day?  No.  I do wear a countenance each and every day.  The world sees my smile or my frown.  They see if I am showing them the joy of the Lord.  I may not have make-up on each day but I always have a chance to show the love of the Lord in my expression.  What will I show the world today?

Yet I Will Praise You

I have been in what I consider "a storm" for several months.  I have experienced a deep hurt that I cannot even begin to explain.  I had this song on my iPod but had never really paid close attention to the words.  I was listening to it as I went to Bible study last night and it touched me in a way that I cannot even put into words.   Even when we do not understand what is going on around us, what is happening to us, or why we are in a valley, we should praise Him.  In my brokenness I have been guilty of losing sight and feeling sorry for myself.  I cannot forget to praise Him.  He died for me and He is here for me no matter how lonely or hurt I feel. 

Yet I Will Praise You

Vineyard

I will praise You Lord my God

Even in my brokenness

I will praise You Lord

I will praise You Lord my God

Even in my desperation

I will praise You Lord

And I can't understand

All that You allow

I just can't see the reason

But my life is in Your hands

And though I cannot see You

I choose to trust You

Even when my heart is torn I will praise (trust) You Lord

Even when I feel deserted I will praise (trust) You Lord

Even in my darkest valley I will praise (trust) You Lord

And when my world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone

Yet I will praise You Lord

I will trust You Lord my God

Even in my loneliness

I will trust You Lord

I will trust You Lord my God

Even when I cannot hear You

I will trust You Lord

And I will not forget

That You hung on a cross

Lord You bled and died for me

And if I have to suffer

I know that You've been there

And I know that You're here now

Good Morning

I am a morning person but yet I struggle once summer is over to get back on a routine and schedule.  This morning, I had to drive my husband to work.  We are a two car family, but the truck is in the process of being repaired.  I fixed us each a cup of coffee and we set out on our 25 minute drive together.  I enjoy time when we can be together to chat about what is going on with each of us.  It was neat how the very things I got out of my Bible study homework was the same thing he heard in a sermon on his way home from work yesterday.  As we talked this morning, we discovered that we are both struggling with the same issues but in different areas of our lives.  We promised to pray for each other in these specific areas.

Mornings are so refreshing.  I watched the sky light up, heard the birds waking up, and felt lifted up this morning.  I caught myself humming the song "Give Me Jesus" as I drove back home.  I love the words because it truly is my heart cry:

"In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,

Give me Jesus,

You can have all this world,

But give me Jesus"

Blessed By My Husband's Ability to Fix Anything

We recently went on vacation and before coming home our car started making a strange noise.  My husand is really awesome at staying calm when things like that happen.  I tend to get upset and stress over things like that.  He was as calm as possible. I need to learn from from him. He does not immediately get anxious.  His first reaction is to stay calm, access the situation and pray.  He spent about 20 minutes taking a belt off of the engine and listening to the engine.  He admited later that he had thought it was something seriously wrong with the transmission.  It ended up being something wrong with a pulley.  It had the potential to lock the motor down but he only told me that after we safely arrived home.  Once we were home he priced the part that he needed to repair the car.  The next day he spent several hours replacing the part and now my car is quieter than ever.  I asked him how much he thought the repair would have cost us if we had taken it somewhere and he said around $300-$350.  Our cost $14 + his time!!!  He is such a blessing in so many ways, but I truly am blessed by his ability to fix anything.  Where is he right this minute?  Showing our son how to put a water pump on our son's truck.  Yes, our son and I were on the side of the road yesterday with his truck smoking, smelling, and leaking.  I called my husband only for him to say, "Whatever it is, I can fix it!"  Praise the Lord!!!

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Philippians 4:6

Bible Study Homework

I am suppose to attend the second session of "Anointed Transformed Redeemed" tomorrow evening.  I am looking forward to it.

I am really enjoyed last week's session which was with Priscilla Shirer.  The study is not only led by her but also by Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.  The one thing that has spoken to me in this week's homework is how I am chosen.  God picked me and no matter what I face, He is with me.