Be still and Be Quiet...Not My Normal Reaction

I have been through a hurtful time in the last 6 months.  It has been a season of renewal but it has also been a season of pain.  I have discovered that dwelling on the hurt only intensifies the sting.  My usual reaction to things like this is to quickly defend myself by either having a confrontation or firing off an email that I later regret.  This time was so different.  Although I have never been hurt like this, I knew in an instant how I was suppose to handle it.  That knowledge was comforting but difficult to accept.  I had never handle anything this way before. 

Several months ago, I downloaded a sermon series by a pastor who is now our pastor.  I listened to it while cutting grass and honestly thought no more of it.  In one of the sermons he was speaking on when the children of Israel were at the Red Sea with Pharaoh at their backs.  In Exodus 14:13-14 it says:  Moses spoke to the people: "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and watch God do his work of salvation for you today. Take a good look at the Egyptians today for you're never going to see them again.  God will fight the battle for you.  And you? You keep your mouths shut!"   As soon as I started experiencing the pain of this situation, I recalled these very verses.  I decided to stand firm, watch God, let Him fight the battle for me, and keep my mouth shut.  I cannot say this was easy to do but I knew immediately it was what I was going to do. 

I have watched God handle the entire situation far better than I ever could.  I have learned a lot of lessons in the process and I have experienced the overwhelming love and comfort of the Lord.  I would have really messed things up worse if I had gone with my normal reaction.  Reacting this way has, at times, caused me to look guilty of what I was being accused of.  It has caused people to doubt me and question my motives.  It has meant walking away from several relationships that I at one time treasured.  I have experienced many nights of tears as I would dwell on what I could be saying or doing to make things "right", yet I knew all along that I was not the one to handle it...GOD WAS. 

I have witnessed how God truly "works things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).  I have had a peace even in the midst of what seemed like a hurricane of a storm.  I have learned so much about myself, the Lord, and the people that I love.  I have gotten closer to the Lord.  I have clung to His Word and truly meditated on it when my heart was crushed.  I have discovered I can change my "normal reaction" to suit His purpose.

Several months ago, I was furious at several people for inflicting what seemed like torture on my heart.  Now, I sit here with a need to thank them.  Were their actions right?  I would think not but God is the judge.  I am thankful for the experience because of what it has done to me as a person.  I am thankful for the experience for what I have learned.  I am thankful for it because I am closer to the Lord than I have ever been.  My anger was probably justified but in my anger, I did not go after the people that hurt me.  I left the fight up to the Lord.  I have forgiven the people involved and I can honestly say that I am not bitter or holding a grudge.  That is where peace comes from.  Did I like that God specifically told me to be still and be quiet?  No, but I am certainly glad that I obeyed.

"Give your burdens to the Lord,
      and he will take care of you.
      He will not permit the godly to slip and fall"

Psalm 55:52